11 May Self-talk
In my office jobs I’ve witnessed, and seen the effects of many an injustice.
It boils my blood to even recall the things that people do.
But there’s an injustice going on inside us. In our minds.
There’s a voice. It’s a part of us, but it’s far from the whole picture. It’s not who we truly are. It’s our biggest critic. Our meanest troll. Our loudest negative nelly. Our most extreme dissenter.
And we put up with it daily.
Worse still, we get confused about whether it’s actually speaking the truth. Alarmingly, we start to believe its wormy messages.
You’re not good enough.
You’re too much.
You’re not like them. You won’t be accepted, you’ll be alone.
It pains me to write this as it pains me to hear that people do say such things to themselves.
What will they think?
You’re a bad mum.
You’re a bad woman.
Your ___ looks weird/fat.
Your face just needs ___.
And it even tries to ‘reason’ with you:
Wait til you have it together.
Don’t take that leap until you’ve shed a few.
Wait til everyone else speaks.
After this qualification you’ll be able to put your hand up.
Everyone else is so much better than me.
You’ll never make the promotion/money.
Wait til it’s perfect.
We hear that voice so often, we start thinking it’s true. We even think it’s our real selves.
Society and marketing reinforce its messages and our insecurities. Those ‘family’ around us who ‘push our buttons’ do it cause it’s so much easier when they know our insecurities and perceived flaws.
We say things to ourselves we’d never dare say to anyone else. We say things to ourselves we wouldn’t even use in a fair fight.
So enough injustice.
Let’s start to balance that voice. Let’s question its motives.
We know we won’t eliminate it entirely, as trying to push it away only makes it it’ll louder. But we can start to turn down the volume. Acknowledge it and move on. Change the channel onto a more supportive thought. Back yourself.
And eventually start to recognise that shrill, panicky, critical voice as soon as it surfaces, calm it down, and return to that inner knowing that you are divine, magnificent, and far beyond any self-imposed limits.
Sign up for my 7 Days of Self-love course here to explore how you can start being kinder to yourself.