I can go my own way. - Heart n Earth
post-template-default,single,single-post,postid-16656,single-format-standard,ajax_fade,page_not_loaded,,side_area_uncovered_from_content,qode-theme-ver-9.1.3,wpb-js-composer js-comp-ver-4.5.3,vc_responsive

I can go my own way.

30 Jul I can go my own way.

I can no longer not be myself.

It comes at a great cost.

At first, barely noticeable, like the proverbial poor lobster in the pot.

But why would I choose to keep ignoring the small voice which repeats whenever I summon shit together enough to slow down and listen to it?

I know myself, by now. I know what it wants.

And more blatantly, it bubbles over – with more magnitude, a louder voice. Whether I label it malaise, dissatisfaction, being down, the blues – it is the feeling that something is off.

That a part of my heart is missing.

That I need to live in a more me way.

That the choices I’m currently making do not cut it.

That I need to listen to my own self.

That I need to come home, and be me again.

And I need to drown out the resistance. Because all the reasons why not right now, add up to never,

Remembering, that resistance is confusion, but I already have clarity.

Remembering, that resistance is also a sign that I’ve hit something giant, something deep. The real thing.

Because when the resistance comes in the form of ‘too busy’ – here’s the thing about survival. I’m not honestly spending 24/7 on my survival (though sleep, work, food, self care and all the rest add up to a lot) – but I also make other choices during those hours. I soothe myself by tuning out and reward myself with numbing activities – and now I take responsibility for it.

Because not being myself more directly threatens my survival – not just by making me gloomy, but it means I do not connect to the essence of life – that which I love to experience, that which I believe in the most.

So here’s a call – let me be me. And let you be your truest self.

We’re not talking about that surface level of, how do I fit in, or how do I set myself apart. There is no comparison here, because there is no thought of anything outside myself. It is a question of – what is my most true self? And how do I, as an ASAP priority, reignite, reconnect, reinvigorate that part of me?

No Comments

Post A Comment

%d bloggers like this: