15 Jun 3 options for when everything goes wrong
As a sensitive person, it can be fairly easy for me to be ‘knocked off’ my perch. It could be the news. It could be a close person needing my support. It could be too long a negative environment. Either way, something happens that we didn’t plan, and then nothing about the rest of our day gets done, or looks anywhere close to how we wanted it to look.
I title this “when” things go wrong and not “if.”
We all know that teachers, life coaches, insta-yogis and all the people whose words we read, lives we want, or ideas we admire, have days like this too.
Well at least I do. Maybe others are more practised monks 😉
So this is for those times when it happens to you, and for me too.
What are the options – once we recognise that our day, productivity or emotions have been a bit ‘hijacked’ by the upsetting event?
This is the default/status quo of denying that something is wrong, or numbing out to it (using substances, habits or procrastination)
You can always give up altogether, call it a “bad day” and continue to convince yourself that there’s absolutely nothing else you can do. While you do things that you may regret later but have absolutely no effect on helping you.
Make lemonade. (In case you haven’t met the phrase, it follows “when life gives you lemons”)
My default was Option A for so many years. I know people whose default is Option B, and really, they’re quite related.
Since I’ve been living more mindfully, I’ve found new ways to beat the “write off the day” and the “numb out to everything” patterns. I pick st least one of the below, and this redirects my entire day from the initial derailment.
1. Grow a gratitude practice.
Not in the sense that you’re always thinking how other people have it worse than me, look at all the amazing stuff I’ve got, I feel so guilty/bad that I can’t just be happy with that.
Encompassing gratitude. The state of being in humble awe of the beauty, riches and goodness all around you and within. Bliss and exhaltation. Not taking for granted a single detail, even though it may be part of every single day of our lives.
(I’ll write a post about this at some point, please email me if you need it soon.)
2. Choose consciously
Write out a huge brainstorm list of all the things you could do right now.
Include in it things from options A and B, for example, my list would include, overeat (stuff face with) chocolate, booze up at the pub, whinge and complain, hide under the doona.
Include other things like your main to-dos for the day.
And include other things that you know make you feel better (a walk around the block, a hot cuppa, a puppy video!)
And then just pick one. Any that draws you.
And whichever you choose, give yourself full permission to immerse in it for as long as you need. Feel yourself soothe and heal as you actively and purposefully choose your day’s destiny.
And when you’re done, start again.
Choose just one thing. And do it with you whole self.
3. Enter your body.
Most of the day, we live in our head, in our planning, thinking, worrying, replaying and forecasting mind.
Do something that makes you FEEL what it’s like to be someone in your body. A mindfulness meditation, or any of these can do the trick for me: dancing, singing, touching a tree, cuddling a loved one or a puppy, yoga, laughing, an outdoor walk.
Advanced version: dwell in your body for the rest of the day. Whenever you notice yourself getting caught up in a whirlwind of thoughts, return to your breath, your belly, your heart or your feet. Pay close attention to what that part of your body feels like. Act from your centre.
(I’m also happy to write or create more resources about this – again, email me if this is calling you.)
4. Coach-journal yourself
This can also be a future post (by request), but this is so powerful and something I teach my clients to do.
It involves asking yourself questions, pausing or changing your state, and then writing everything out.
Letting it all pour onto the page means that your thoughts don’t stay trapped in your mind, repeating in an endless loop. You’ve released them and can now move forward.
Over to you
Ultimately, what vibe and attitude towards yourself do you want to grow? One in which you’re getting through the day in pain, or one in which you’re feeling pain while taking the best care of yourself?
If you’d like to work together, let’s have an obligation-free chat about how I can support you with self-kindness, mindful choices and purposeful living. I’m taking on just a couple more 1:1 clients before my price rise. Book here and until then, I hope you’re living a life that you’re loving!